Thursday, May 31, 2012

A Simple Gesture

Mark was walking home from school one day when he noticed the boy ahead of him had tripped and dropped all of the books he was carrying, along with two sweaters, a baseball bat, a glove and a small tape recorder. Mark knelt down and helped the boy pick up the scattered articles. Since they were going the same way, he helped to carry part of the burden. As they walked Mark discovered the boy’s name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball and history, and that he was having lots of trouble with his other subjects and that he had just broken up with his girlfriend. They arrived at Bill’s home first and Mark was invited in for a Coke and to watch some television. The afternoon passed pleasantly with a few laughs and some shared small talk, then Mark went home. They continued to see each other around school, had lunch together once or twice, then both graduated from junior high school. They ended up in the same high school where they had brief contacts over the years. Finally the long awaited senior year came and three weeks before graduation, Bill asked Mark if they could talk.
Bill reminded him of the day years ago when they had first met. “Did you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things home that day?” asked Bill. “You see, I cleaned out my locker because I didn’t want to leave a mess for anyone else. I had stored away some of my mothers sleeping pills and I was going home to commit suicide. But after we spent some time together talking and laughing, I realized that if I had killed myself, I would have missed that time and so many others that might follow. So you see, Mark, when you picked up those books that day, you did a lot more, you saved my life.”

Tip to Succeed

Chuan and Jing joined a wholesale company together just after graduation. Both worked very hard.
After several years, the boss promoted Jing to sales executive but Chuan remained a sales rep. One day Chuan could not take it anymore, tender resignation to the boss and complained the boss did not value hard working staff, but only promoted those who flattered him.

The boss knew that Chuan worked very hard for the years, but in order to help Chuan realize the difference between him and Jing, the boss asked Chuan to do the following. Go and find out anyone selling water melon in the market? Chuan returned and said yes. The boss asked how much per kg? Chuan went back to the market to ask and returned to inform boss the $12 per kg.
Boss told Chuan, I will ask Jing the same question? Jing went, returned and said, boss, only one person selling water melon. $12 per kg, $100 for 10 kg, he has inventory of 340 melons. On the table 58 melons, every melon weighs about 15 kg, bought from the South two days ago, they are fresh and red, good quality.
Chuan was very impressed and realized the difference between himself and Jing. He decided not to resign but to learn from Jing.
My dear friends, a more successful person is more observant, think more and understand in depth. For the same matter, a more successful person sees several years ahead, while you see only tomorrow. The difference between a year and a day is 365 times, how could you win?
Think! how far have you seen ahead in your life? How thoughtful in depth are you?

Balance

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends and spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How?

  • Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.
  • Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.
  • Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
  • Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
  • Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
  • Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us each together.
  • Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
  • Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
  • Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.
  • Don’t forget that a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
  • Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
  • Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.
  

To Let Go

To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization that I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to criticize, or regulate anyone, but to try to become what I dream I can do.
To let go is to fear less, and to love more.

Positive Thinking

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, “If I were any better, I would be twins!”
He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, “I don’t get it! You can’t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?” Jerry replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.’ I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.”
“Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,” I protested.
“Yes it is,” Jerry said. “Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It’s your choice how you live life.”
I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it. Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins. Wanna see my scars?”
I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door,” Jerry replied. “Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live.”
“Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?” I asked. Jerry continued, “The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, ‘He’s a dead man.’ I knew I needed to take action.”
“What did you do?” I asked.
“Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me,” said Jerry. “She asked if I was allergic to anything. ‘Yes,’ I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply… I took a deep breath and yelled, ‘Bullets!’ Over their laughter, I told them, ‘I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.”
Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.
By Francie Baltazar-Schwartz

Determination and Persistence

In 1883, a creative engineer named John Roebling was inspired by an idea to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with the Long Island. However bridge building experts throughout the world thought that this was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget the idea. It just could not be done. It was not practical. It had never been done before.
Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge. He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built.
Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.
The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington was also injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to talk or walk.
“We told them so.” “Crazy men and their crazy dreams.” “It’s foolish to chase wild visions.”
Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built.
In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever. He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task.
As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment.
It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife.
He touched his wife’s arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.
For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife’s arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man’s indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do.
Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal.
Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The Brooklyn Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can be realised with determination and persistence, no matter what the odds are.

Temper Control

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.”
You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.
Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later.

Don't Hope -Decide

Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jet way, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family.
First he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other’s face, I heard the father say, “It’s so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!” His son smiled somewhat shyly, averted his eyes and replied softly, “Me, too, Dad!”
Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe nine or ten) and while cupping his son’s face in his hands said, “You’re already quite the young man. I love you very much, Zach!” They too hugged a most loving, tender hug.
While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one-and-a-half) was squirming excitedly in her mother’s arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, “Hi, baby girl!” as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder, motionless in pure contentment.
After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, “I’ve saved the best for last!” and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed. “I love you so much!” They stared at each other’s eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands.

For an instant they reminded me of newlyweds, but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn’t possibly be. I puzzled about it for a moment then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm’s length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I was invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, “Wow! How long have you two been married?

“Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those.” he replied, without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife’s face. “Well then, how long have you been away?” I asked. The man finally turned and looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile. “Two whole days!”
Two days? I was stunned. By the intensity of the greeting, I had assumed he’d been gone for at least several weeks – if not months. I know my expression betrayed me.
I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), “I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!”
The man suddenly stopped smiling.
He looked me straight in the eye, and with forcefulness that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, “Don’t hope, friend… decide!” Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, “God bless!”

Life is a Gift.


Today before you think of saying an unkind word–think of someone who can’t speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food–think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife–think of someone who is crying out to God for a companion.
Today before you complain about life–think of someone who went too early to heaven.
Before you complain about your children–think of someone who desires children but they’re barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn’t clean or sweep–think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive–think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job–think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another–remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down–put a smile on your face and thank God you’re alive and still around.
Life is a gift – Live it, Enjoy it, Celebrate it, and Fulfill it..

Learn from Mistakes

Thomas Edison tried two thousand different materials in search of a filament for the light bulb. When none worked satisfactorily, his assistant complained, “All our work is in vain. We have learned nothing.”
Edison replied very confidently, “Oh, we have come a long way and we have learned a lot. We know that there are two thousand elements which we cannot use to make a good light bulb.

 

Friday, May 18, 2012

INCREASING YOUR SELF ESTEEM


 LIKING YOURSELF
Developing self esteem is about liking yourself and appreciating your talents, abilities and
attributes. This does not mean becoming egotistical or vain. It merely means acknowledging your good traits and qualities.
Your self concept has a great deal to do with your self esteem. If you continually tell yourself
you are a failure, a loser, a poor student or whatever terms you use to put yourself down, you are
feeding your low self esteem and creating a negative attitude. You are reinforcing what others wrongly caused you to feel about yourself. If you accept that they were wrong, or perhaps ignorant in doing this to you, why would you chose to do the same thing to yourself?

TAKING ACTION TO IMPROVE YOURSELF
Building self esteem requires action; it is not something you can wish for, purchase or borrow.
There are things you can do everyday to help build your self esteem. Here are just a few:
⇒ practice positive thinking
⇒ visualize success everyday
⇒ accept compliments and believe them
⇒ seek counseling through difficult times
⇒ identify your values
⇒ identify your goals
⇒ be honest in expressing your strengths, talents, and skills
⇒ learn from constructive criticism
⇒ write down your accomplishments everyday
⇒ give yourself credit every day
⇒ take action on ideas you believe in
⇒ nourish your physical, mental and spiritual self
⇒ forgive those who have hurt you
⇒ make time for self development every day
"It is only by taking risks everyday that we live at all."

PATTERNS OF LOW SELF ESTEEM

PATTERNS OF LOW SELF ESTEEM
Self esteem develops in childhood and forms patterns of thinking and behaving. These patterns tend to reinforce self esteem, whether low or high, and become habits. In some cases, these habits can be very destructive, causing us to feed and nurture feelings of low self esteem even when there are no reasons for it. In other words, things in our lives may have changed significantly since childhood, we may no longer be subject to the influences that contributed to our low self esteem, yet we perpetuate it by our beliefs and behaviors. We keep our self esteem low when we should be striving to raise it. How does this happen?
Low self esteem is perpetuated by our behaviors, thoughts and actions.

 Read the following list and check those items that you think contribute to your low self esteem:
___ A lack of faith, both in myself, other people and the world around me.
___ A lack of purpose or meaning in my life.
___ A lack of goals to motivate and guide me.
___ Dependence on others for a sense of importance or meaning in my life.
___ Failing to accept responsibility for my life and well-being.
___ Failing to recognize, appreciate and reward myself.
___ Adhering to false concepts and assumptions about myself.
___ Feelings of negativity toward myself and others.
___ Failing to develop my abilities and talents.
___ Comparing myself to others.
___ Feeling I have to prove myself to others.
___ Feeling a need to give in, please or agree with others to be accepted.
___ Feeling I have to prove myself to others.
___ Resisting, fretting or worrying about things I can do nothing about.
___ Not allowing myself the freedom to make mistakes and fail.
___ Not allowing myself freedom of self expression.
___ Being impatient, harsh or demanding of myself.

DEFINE WHO AM I?......

Self Esteem

Self esteem is a state of mind. It is the way you think and feel about yourself. Having high self esteem means having feelings of confidence, worthiness and positive regard for yourself. People with high self esteem feel good about themselves. They feel a sense of belonging and security. They respect themselves and appreciate others. They tend to be successful in life because they feel confident in taking on challenges and risking failure to achieve what they want. They have more energy for positive pursuits because their energy is not wasted on negative emotions, feelings of inferiority or working hard to take care of or please others at the expense of their own self-care.

Factors affecting  Self Esteem
The amount of self esteem you have depends on many factors -- how you were raised, parental attitudes, life experiences, etc. Sometimes people lose self esteem and feel bad about themselves because of failures or disappointments in life, or because of the way others in their lives have treated them. It is important to know that self-esteem can be gained at any time in life. Ideally, it happens in childhood; realistically, most people have to cultivate it later in life.

Why develop Self Esteem?The rewards of developing self esteem include being able to take risks, having positive relationships, not being held back by fears and insecurities, pursuing your dreams and desires, making good choices and reaching your goals.

WHAT CAUSES LOW SELF ESTEEM?It is believed that low self esteem is caused, in part, by negative emotional responses.Criticism, teasing, punishment and abuse, poverty, economic deprivation, failure in school and many other factors affect our feelings of self-worth. Even race, religion, the media, culture and sex have an influence on how we feel about ourselves.
When negative thoughts and feelings take root early in life, they can become powerful thought patterns that form habits of thinking. Before long, we begin to think in ways that limit our growth and self-development. We begin to doubt ourselves and feel dissatisfied. We become afraid to accept challenges and feel unworthy, even when we do accomplish important things. The deeper these thought patterns take root, the lower our self esteem falls, until we cannot envision what it is like to feel good about ourselves.



Safety Tips for children on Child Sexual Abuse

Safety Tips for Children
  1. Teach your children what touches are good and what touches are bad. Discuss the fact that touches may be confusing at times, and they may not be sure if the touches are good or bad. Give them examples of good touch and bad touch.  
  2. Teach children the proper names of body parts. Just as you teach your children that a nose is a nose, they need to know what to call their genitals. This knowledge gives children correct language for understanding their bodies, for asking questions that need to be asked, and for telling about sexual abuse.
  3. Problem-solving games, story telling, and role playing are ways to talk to Children.
  4. Teach your child about private parts of the body (parts covered by a bathing suit).
  5. Use coloring books or reading books with examples. Give simple, easy-to-understand answers to questions about sex. Play the "What if…?" game. Ask your child what she would do in certain situations.
  6. At a minimum, children should be taught to say no, to run away and tell a trusted adult, and to keep telling until someone helps them. Discuss with them whom they can trust.
  7. Teach your children that their bodies are their own. That it is OK to say they do not want a hug or that certain kinds of contact make them uncomfortable.
  8. Do not instruct children to give relatives hugs and kisses. Let them express affection on their own terms. This will help them use their instincts and set boundaries.
  9. Instruct your child to never get into a car with anyone without your permission.
  10. It is important to remember that physical force is often not necessary to engage a child in sexual activity. Children are trusting and dependent and will often do what is asked of them to gain approval and love. 
  11. Listen when your child tries to tell you something, especially when it seems hard for him/her to talk about it. Make sure your child knows it's OK to tell you about any attempt to molest him or touch him/her in a way that made him/her feel uncomfortable, no matter who the abuser may be.
  12. Let him know he/she can trust you and that you will not be angry with him/her if he/she tells you. 
  13. Know the adults and children with whom your child is spending time.
  14. Be careful about allowing your child to spend time alone or in out-of-the-way places with other adults or older children.
  15. Make visits to your child's caretaker without notice. Ask your child about his/her time spent with the caretaker.
  16. Children who are isolated from parents and other family members tend to be most vulnerable to sexual abuse. As well, perpetrators have a tendency to target children who appear secluded or lonely.

Prevention Steps

How to talk with your child about Sexual Abuse?

  1. Children as young as four years old can understand the basic concepts of good touches, bad touches and confusing touches. Use the words "sexual abuse" when talking with your child because if a child is victimized, they need to be able to tell you that they were "sexually abused!"
  2. Teaching your child about sexual abuse further empowers your child to participate in his/her own body safety! 
  3. Children need to hear information more than once. Discuss the information with them in bits
  4. Good communication between you and your children is the most important way to keep them safe from sexual  abuse. A trusting and loving relationship creates a climate in which children are not afraid to confide in  their parents.
  5. Talk to your children every day and take time to listen and observe. Learn as many details as possible about your children's activities and feelings. Encourage them to share their concerns. 
  6. Explain to your children they have the right to say NO to anyone who might try to touch them.
  7. Tell your children that some adults may try to hurt them or make them do things they do not feel comfortable doing. Often these adults tell children to keep what they are doing a secret.
  8. Explain that some adults may even threaten children by saying their parents will be hurt.  If the children ever tell the secret. Emphasize that an adult who does this is wrong and that they should tell. 
  9. Tell your children that some adults they know, trust, and love (such as a friend, a relative, or a teacher) might try to touch them inappropriately.
  10. Try not to scare your children.
  11. Emphasize that most adults never do this and are deeply concerned about protecting children from harm.

Child Sexual Abuse contd..

Children who have been sexually abused suffer severe trauma or damages, which can be physical, mental, emotional or psychological. The trauma may last a lifetime if the process of healing does not take place. Sexually transmitted disease or HIV or pregnancy at an early age can be some of the disastrous outcomes of child sexual abuse.
With the family support system getting destroyed, the child can face social isolation and social stigmatisation. Very often, the child is blamed for being sexually exploited- for “affecting the honour of the family”. The child is made to feel guilty for what happened and a deep sense of worthlessness develops. Often when the abuser is the father or the breadwinner of the family, the child is pressurized by the mother or the family to keep quiet, and is instead blamed or accused of lying. All these are part of denial process. Children may also feel powerless, angry, frightened and lonely. Depression, isolation and self-destructiveness are also some of the short and long term impacts of sexual abuse.


Things to Do when Child is Abused Sexually
  1. Believe the child. Children rarely lie about sexual abuse.
  2. Commend the child for telling you about the experience.
  3. Assure the child that you will protect him or her.
  4. Convey your support for the child. A child's greatest fear is that they are at fault and responsible for the incident. Alleviating this self-blame is of paramount importance.
  5. Temper your own reaction. Your greatest challenge is not to convey your horror, anger or any hysteria about the abuse. Over reactions make children wish they hadn't told Tell your child that you will work with him/her regarding his/her feelings about the incident. Seek professional help if you feel ill equipped to do this.
  6. Do not take any steps against the abuser without first informing your child about them and seeing how he/she feels about them. This will depend on the age of the child involved.
  7. Do not begin to impose restrictions on your child as a result of the abuse i.e. not going out anymore etc. These will make the child feel that she/he is being punished for something that was not their fault.
  8. Without trivializing your child's experience let him/her know that lots of children are sexually abused and that it is nothing to be ashamed of.

Child Sexual Abuse/Exploitation

Today's children and youth have become very vulnerable to Abuse both physically, sexually. Theionships, building trust children/youth when they grow up suffer from personality problems or psychological problems and face difficulty in building and maintaining relationship.
 
 Child sexual abuse is defined as the physical or mental violation of a child with sexual intent, usually by an older person, who is in some position of power and/or trust vis-à-vis the child.
The term child sexual exploitation covers:
  1. The silent, hidden, sexual abuse that the children  (both boys and girls) face at home or outside, usually   in the hands of trusted adults
  2. The organised trafficking (buying/selling) of children  into prostitution involving a complicated network of  procurers, brothel keepers, pimps.
Who are the abused?

Any child (any person under 18 years) can be abused. The economic/social/educational background of the child’s family is not a factor that impacts on child abuse.  Both male and female children are sexually abused. Girls however are abused more frequently and over a longer period of time. At least two out of four girls and one out of six boys are victims of sexual abuse.

Who are the abusers?
A child may be abused by his/her father, uncle, grandparents, cousins, older siblings, friends of the family, neighbours, teacher, employer- in fact any trusted adult who has access to the child. Though both men and women can sexually abuse a child, most abusers are male.

Child Sexual Abuse- Warning Signs
  1. Children who are too frightened to talk about sexual abuse may exhibit a variety of physical and behavioural signals.
  2. Changes in behaviour such as withdrawal,  fearfulness, crying without provocation
  3.  Appetite disturbances
  4.  Recurrent nightmares, disturbed sleep patterns, fear of the dark
  5.  Regression to more infantile behaviour such as  bedwetting, thumb sucking, or excessive crying. 
  6. Torn or stained underclothing Vaginal or rectal bleeding, pain, itching, swollen genitals, vaginal discharge, or sexually transmitted diseases. 
  7. Unusual interest in or knowledge of sexual matters, expressing affection in ways inappropriate for a child of that age.
  8. Fear of a person or an intense dislike at being left   somewhere or with someone 
  9. Other behavioural signals such as aggressive or disruptive behaviour, running away, failing in school, or delinquent behaviour.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Financial Management tips

If you’re finding yourself stressed about money, the following steps can lead you to a greater sense of peace.

  • Get organized: Gather all important financially-related documents to a central location that is equally accessible.
  • Track your spending and pay yourself first: Write down where you are spending your money.  Re-route some of your spending to a savings account: pay yourself first for a secure financial future.
  • Plan to save: Start a savings account to cover expenses like clothes, holidays, and insurance.  Plan for future expenses throughout the year. Have retirement planning.
  • Build an emergency fund: You never know when you will need additional cash so try to have two to three months of living expenses in a readily accessible savings account or money market account.
  • Don’t Go Into Debt, and if you are, Get out of debt: Avoid Credit CARDS.  If you must use them, control your credit card spending and try to pay off any debts you have (e.g., car, credit card, student loan, etc.).  Pay more than the minimum monthly payment.  Once you have paid off your debts/credit cards, take the money and put it towards savings or some other debt.  If possible, the goal is to simultaneously pay off your debt while still putting some amount into savings.  Remember, you are loaned money so that you will pay interest and late charges and make other people money.
  • Set goals: Decide what you want to do with your money.  Do you want to pay off debts/student loans/Buy a house/Save for a new car or additional education.  Write down your goals and your strategy for achieving these goals.  Write a budget.
  • Review your insurance coverage: Every year, review your health, life, disability, renter/homeowners, auto, and personal liability policies to make sure you are both adequately covered. To learn more about insurance go to the National Association of Insurance commissioners Insure U web page.
  • How much should you save and/or invest? Save at least 15% of every dime you earn beginning with your first job.  The older you are the higher the percentage has to go unless you think you can work forever?
SOME MORE TIPS:
  • Get Paid What You're Worth and Spend Less Than You Earn
  • Stick to a Budget
  • Have a Savings Plan
  • Invest
  • Keep Good Records.
Top Saving Mistakes

  • Not modifying your spending habits and committing to save money.
  • Not appropriately/correctly allocating your assets to meet a specific goal or time horizon (diversification is important).
  • Not setting a specific RUPEES target or financial goal.
  • Not knowing how much you have, where you are spending your money, and how much you need to save for the future (failure to plan for retirement).
  • Cashing out your retirement plan

Monday, May 7, 2012

What is Financial Literacy

Financial Literacy:The ability to effectively evaluate and manage one’s finances in order to make prudent decisions toward reaching life’s goals
The understanding of:
  • Money
  • Cash flow
  • Basic economic/financial concepts
  • Debt/risk management.
Achieving financial literacy: Five Key Areas of Personal Finance:
  • Money and income
  • Money management
  • Spending and debt
  • Savings and investments
  • Risk management
Money and income:Its important to take care of the following:
  • Time is money
  • Money management
  • Budgeting
  • Prioritizing

Stress due to Finance

The proportion of people stressed about money is only going up. While money is a relatively common cause of stress and marital tension, the serious global economic downturn we’re currently seeing has many people concerned about losing their home or their savings -- or both!

This kind of stress can result in many problems, including health, relationship and career problems. Stress is intricately linked to ill-health and statistics show that up to 90% of all visits to the doctor are for stressrelated ailments and complaints.

Statistics show that almost 40% of relationships break-ups are a result of financial difficulty. Are you under financial stress? Financial difficulties are categorised in the highest category of stress along with death of a family member, divorce and moving, and is described as severe, chronic, long-term stress.
This kind of stress can result in many problems, including health, relationship and career problems. Stress is intricately linked to ill-health and statistics show that up to 90% of all visits to the doctor are for stressrelated ailments and complaints.

What is Finance?
The general areas of finance are business finance, personal finance, and public finance. Finance includes saving money and often includes lending money.
Importance of Finance Literacy.
Knowing What You Need To Know To Achieve Your Financial Goals

What is Financial Health?
It is a description of the state of a person or company's finances. Someone with good financial health usually deals well with their finances, makes their payments on time, and knows how to manage their money. Someone in poor financial health usually owes a lot of money and isn't making their payments on time.

What is Financial Planning?
Financial Planning is the process of meeting your life goals through the proper management of your finances. It involves the process of assessing your financial situation, determining your objectives and formulating a plan to achieve them.

What is Debt?
 Borrowing money from others for interest. Definition of debt: Debt is a form of loan issued to the indovidual/organisation/company by public or the bank.An amount owed to another party.An obligation resulting from borrowing money.

What is Debt Management Plan
A Debt Management Plan (DMP) is a repayment scheme which helps make unsecured debt repayments more affordable. ...In debt management the counselors offer confidential debt management advice designed to help you with unfinancial situation.  This is will help you get back on your feet.  Your expenses should never be more than your income.  Good debt management, you will find yourself enjoying more financial freedom.

What is credit?    It is a source of provision.
 Definition of Credit:  Credit is the provision of resources (such as granting a loan) by one party to another party where that second party does not reimburse the first party immediately, thereby generating a debt, and instead arranges either to repay or return those resources.

THE STRESS CAUSED BY FINANCE IMPROPER FINACE PLANNING CAUSES FINANCIAL STRESS..

Managing Job Stress

  • First, identify what's creating stress at work. Maybe it’s lack of control over your job. Or maybe it's worry about losing your job or how you are doing at work. You might feel stress because you're unable to express your thoughts and ideas to your boss and coworkers.
  • Think about why you want to reduce stress at work. You might want to protect your heart and your health by reducing stress. Or maybe you simply want to enjoy your life more and not let work stress control how you feel. Your reason for wanting to change is important. If your reason comes from you-and not someone else-it will be easier for you to make a healthy change for good.
  • Next, set a goal for yourself that involves reducing your stress level. Think about both a long-term and a short-term goal.
  • After setting your goals, think about what might get in your way. Write down your goals, the possible barriers, and your ideas for getting past them. By thinking about these barriers now, you can plan ahead for how to deal with them if they happen.
  • Most important, make sure you get support from friends and family in your efforts to reduce job stress. Or talk to someone who can help you set goals and provide support in dealing with setbacks
    You and your job
  • Get organized. Keep track of your projects and deadlines by making a list of what's urgent. Decide what matters most and what can wait.
  • Don't put things off. Use a schedule planner to plan your day or week. Just seeing on paper that there is time to get each task done can help you get to work. Break a large project into small steps, and set a deadline for each one.
  • Learn to say "no." Don't overcommit yourself. If you take on too much, you're creating stress.
  • Focus. Do one thing at a time. In some cases, you can do two things at a time. But if you start to feel stressed, go back to doing one thing at a time.
  • Concentrate. Try to limit distractions and interruptions. Ask others to give you a block of time when you are not disturbed.
  • Delegate. Ask someone else to take on a task. It's not always important to have all the control.
Take care of yourself

  • Make time for you. Leave your job at the office, even if your office is a room in your home. Use time  you've set aside for you and your family. Stay positive. Remember that everyone has good days and bad days at work.
  • Reward yourself. When you finish a difficult task, celebrate. Enjoy a snack at your desk, or-if your job permits-take a short walk or visit with a coworker.
  • Schedule time for fun. If you spend every second of your day getting things done, you may resent never having time for yourself.
  •  Go into work earlier and take a longer break at lunch to make time for a  walk.
  • Practice breathing and relaxation techniques. You can do these at home or in a quiet place at work

Individual Differences in Coping

  • Social Support helps to reduce stress.
  • Job Skill – the more skilled at job, the less stress
  • Physical Health – good health leads to reduced impact of stress
  • Type A/Type B Personality – Type A personality reflected by competitiveness, inflated sense of time urgency, hostility.  Hostility component of Type A personality is linked to heart disease, Type A individuals, in essence, create more stress for themselves. Type B individuals rarely have heart attacks before the age of 70.
  • Job Complexity – increased complexity leads to heart disease in Type A individuals.  But, complexity also is linked to job satisfaction!!
  • Locus of Control – internal locus of control is linked to reduced impact of stress
  • Negative Affectivity –A tendency to focus on the negative aspects of life.  Linked to high levels of stress
  • Individual Differences Hardiness: Reflects a resistance to stress: elements include :Sense of commitment to family and work, A perceived sense of control, A view of change as normal and challenging.
  • Organization-based Self Esteem – our assessment of our adequacy and worth with regard to our place in the employing organization (job specific self esteem)
  • Gender Differences – female managers face more stressors than do male managers (e.g., role conflict, discrimination, harassment)
  • Stress and Type of Occupation: Clerical and blue collar workers suffer the most stress due to a relative lack of control. Most stressful professions include: laborer, secretary, clinical lab. technician, nurse, first-line supervisor, restaurant server, machine operator, farm worker, miner. One of the least stressful professions is college professor.
  • Work-Family Conflicts : Greater role conflict for women – primary responsibility for family life falls on woman. Family with 3 kids, average work week for females is 90 hours, for males it is 70 hours. Bad work days tend to carry over into family life – tendency is stronger for women.  Sadly, positive states do not carry over. Despite these problems, women with paying jobs are psychological and physically healthier than full-time homemakers

  

Stress at Workplace

In todays world, the work places have become a cause of stress. What actually is Stress?   Stress  is a physiological and psychological responses to events in the environment. However there are 2 types of stress:
Eustress: good stress
Distress: bad stress

What's Job Stress?
Job stress can be defined as the harmful physical and emotional responses that occur when the requirements of the job do not match the capabilities, resources, or needs of the worker. Job stress can lead to poor health and even injury.

Where does stress come from?
  1. Major life events?
  2. Daily hassles: frequency, intensity, duration
  3. Job satisfaction and stress – those who enjoy work suffer less impact from stressful events.
Causes of Stress in the Workplace
  • Work overload
  • Quantitative: too much to do in too short a time
  • Qualitative: work that is too difficult
  • Quantitative has increased in recent years due to downsizing
  • Work underload – work that is too simple or insufficient to fill one’s time
  • Both of these impact stress and health, appears that a moderate amount of stress is optimal
  • Organizational Change – if not hardy, change causes stress in individuals.  Can be reduced by including employees in planning.
  • Role Ambiguity – unstructured or poorly defined job responsibilities (expected standards, methods, schedules)
  • Role Conflict – conflict between job demands and employee’s personal standards
  • Management Style. Lack of participation by workers in decision making, Poor communication in the organization, lack of family friendly policies.Example: Their needs to get the boss’s approval for everything, and the company is insensitive to her family needs.
  • Interpersonal Relationships. Poor social environment and lack of support or help from coworkers and supervisors.
  • Career Concerns. Job insecurity and lack of opportunity for growth, advancement, or promotion; rapid changes for which workers are unprepared.
  • Environmental Conditions. Unpleasant or dangerous physical conditions such as crowding, noise, air pollution, or ergonomic problems.