Jul 26, 2011

Handling Road Menace

If you drive a vehicle in a city chances are there have been several times where you've sworn at the person for dangerously swerving or braking without warning. Fights and arguments are common the roads of the city. But with an appaling increase in the amount of road rage cases, experts are already waving the red flag.

Common manifestations of road rage:
  1. Ceaseless honking, constantly changing lanes and breaking lights.
  2. Disregarding traffic rules or the safety of fellow drivers by speeding and overtaking ruthlessly.
  3. Flashing headlights continuously, shouting verbal insults or looking for opportunities to get into physical fights
Road rage is something that we experience even if we may ourselves not indulge in it and is commonly seen at bus stops, signals and traffic snarls. "Road rage isn't just limited to accidents, assaults, altercations, but even curse words, obscene gestures or threats to other drivers. Cutting lanes, not giving way to another driver are all considered as road rage. It is best described as an extreme expression of anger, which is disproportionate to the situation at hand," says Counselling Psychologist Devaunshi Sampat Mehta.

Environmental conditions like traffic jams, dangerous driving habits, unbearable weather, noise levels and time constraints are some of the main factors related to road rage.
According to clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany, "A Mumbaikar's regular commute is riddled with severe anxiety, stress, antagonism and discontent.

How to avoid road rage:
  1. Stay calm:  If someone cuts you, honks incessantly or brakes suddenly, it is okay to feel irritated. But don't let it anger you into doing something you will regret.
  2. In a city if you're going for an important event, why not keep trouble at bay by leaving a little early? Realise that there could be delays in travel.
  3. Experts say that the music you listen to can have a big impact on your thoughts. As far as possible, hear something that is pleasant while you drive.
  4. To  avoid being dragged into a fight as much as possible, no matter how much you are provoked. Handle the situation as peacefully as you can.
  5. Avoid arguments on your cell phone while driving. 
  6.  Lifestyle changes like finding healthy ways to vent your rage, doing some form of relaxation, getting adequate rest, being more tolerant in general can reduce the likelihood of road rage.

Courtsey: Article TOI 26/7/2011....

Chasing Happiness

 Once there was a kitten chasing its tail. It just chased and chased it.An older wiser cat came along and watched this kitten for a long time. Then he asked the kitten, “Kitten, why do you chase your tail?”The kitten replied, “Because I will find happiness in my tail.”The old cat watched again for a while before saying, “I, too, used to chase my tail because I thought I would find happiness there. But I realized that I didn’t need to chase my tail for wherever I went it seemed to follow.”And the old cat got up and walked away with his tail whishing behind.

Happiness is Self Defined

While going to deliver a  Stress Management session few days ago at the outskirts of the city in Hyderabad, I encountered the opportunity to observe people’s reactions to a major  traffic jam.

As we were waiting I watched the different things that was happening around that place right from few passengers  listening Music at FM Radio, to people tossing, to reading books and taking a quick nap.  Also there were few who showed restlessness, agitated, upset, frustrated. Anger resulting to abusing.
This situation was not in our hands and we could not control this..thus I thought Happiness was a state of mind..
Here few people found it difficult to accept the situation and thus remained unhappy for the whole moment while those who accepted it found ways of dealing with the situation and remained calm and happy.

So Happiness is a state of being happy. Abraham Lincoln Says,   “Most people are about as happy as they make their minds to be” Being Happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect; it means that you have decided to look beyond the imperfection.

Some people think that they'd be truly happy with themselves if they had a perfect body, a high-powered job, a lot of money or fame. However, there are plenty of well-known, well-off, attractive people who aren't happy. The opposite is also true.

So the question arises now if happiness doesn’t come from what you do or what you have where does it come from? Happiness is within one self and many don’t realize that they already have it, Being happy with self is finding things one can do to help them recognize their happiness. This means doing what you want, achieving your goals instead of living up to others expectations.

·        Decide to be happy person: You can choose to be relaxed or troubled.
·        Accept, forget the past and Learn to forgive
·        Build relationships –Accept, Appreciate, Attitude of Gratitude
·        Develop multiple passions
·        Be yourself - Take responsibility for your life.
·        Be who you are- Eliminate negative toxins from life.
·        Set Realistic Goals - While wanting to achieve more in your life is good, being obsessed or driving to the core of being perfectionist or having over expectations from self is not healthy. DO BEST TO IMPROVE YOURSELF
·      Start with what you have, Work creatively, Use your talents, Change, Enjoy yourself, Love yourself
·     Learn to have a good laugh everyday

Remember that Happiness is a State, Not a Circumstance Happiness is a state of being, not merely a moment of pleasure or joy. By committing to your happiness you acknowledge and accept that there will be times of challenge and suffering, but by staying true to who you are you will not just endure but thrive. Happiness is not just the bird floating serenely on the water, and happiness is not made unhappy by the rock that falls and temporarily disturbs the water. Happiness is the water itself, always being exactly what it is.

God did not promise days without pain,
Laughter without Sorrow
Sun without Rain
But he did promise strength for the day
Comfort for the tears and light for the way….