Safety Tips for children on Child Sexual Abuse

Safety Tips for Children

1. Teach your children what touches are good and what touches are bad. Discuss the fact that touches may be confusing at times, and they may not be sure if the touches are good or bad. Give them examples of good touch and bad touch.  
2. Teach children the proper names of body parts. Just as you teach your children that a nose is a nose, they need to know what to call their genitals. This knowledge gives children correct language for understanding their bodies, for asking questions that need to be asked, and for telling about sexual abuse.
3. Problem-solving games, story telling, and role playing are ways to talk to Children.
4. Teach your child about private parts of the body (parts covered by a bathing suit).
5. Use coloring books or reading books with examples. Give simple, easy-to-understand answers to questions about sex. Play the "What if…?" game. Ask your child what she would do in certain situations.
6. At a minimum, children should be taught to say no, to run away and tell a trusted adult, and to keep telling until someone helps them. Discuss with them whom they can trust.
7. Teach your children that their bodies are their own. That it is OK to say they do not want a hug or that certain kinds of contact make them uncomfortable.
8. Do not instruct children to give relatives hugs and kisses. Let them express affection on their own terms. This will help them use their instincts and set boundaries.
9. Instruct your child to never get into a car with anyone without your permission.
10. It is important to remember that physical force is often not necessary to engage a child in sexual activity. Children are trusting and dependent and will often do what is asked of them to gain approval and love. 
11. Listen when your child tries to tell you something, especially when it seems hard for him/her to talk about it. Make sure your child knows it's OK to tell you about any attempt to molest him or touch him/her in a way that made him/her feel uncomfortable, no matter who the abuser may be.
12. Let him know he/she can trust you and that you will not be angry with him/her if he/she tells you. 
13. Know the adults and children with whom your child is spending time.
14. Be careful about allowing your child to spend time alone or in out-of-the-way places with other adults or older children.
15. Make visits to your child's caretaker without notice. Ask your child about his/her time spent with the caretaker.
16. Children who are isolated from parents and other family members tend to be most vulnerable to sexual abuse. As well, perpetrators have a tendency to target children who appear secluded or lonely.

Prevention Steps

How to talk with your child about Sexual Abuse?

1. Children as young as four years old can understand the basic concepts of good touches, bad touches and confusing touches. Use the words "sexual abuse" when talking with your child because if a child is victimized, they need to be able to tell you that they were "sexually abused!"
2. Teaching your child about sexual abuse further empowers your child to participate in his/her own body safety! 
3. Children need to hear information more than once. Discuss the information with them in bits
4. Good communication between you and your children is the most important way to keep them safe from sexual  abuse. A trusting and loving relationship creates a climate in which children are not afraid to confide in  their parents.
5. Talk to your children every day and take time to listen and observe. Learn as many details as possible about your children's activities and feelings. Encourage them to share their concerns. 
6. Explain to your children they have the right to say NO to anyone who might try to touch them.
7. Tell your children that some adults may try to hurt them or make them do things they do not feel comfortable doing. Often these adults tell children to keep what they are doing a secret.
8. Explain that some adults may even threaten children by saying their parents will be hurt.  If the children ever tell the secret. Emphasize that an adult who does this is wrong and that they should tell. 
9. Tell your children that some adults they know, trust, and love (such as a friend, a relative, or a teacher) might try to touch them inappropriately.
10. Try not to scare your children.
11. Emphasize that most adults never do this and are deeply concerned about protecting children from harm.

Child Sexual Abuse contd..

Children who have been sexually abused suffer severe trauma or damages, which can be physical, mental, emotional or psychological. The trauma may last a lifetime if the process of healing does not take place. Sexually transmitted disease or HIV or pregnancy at an early age can be some of the disastrous outcomes of child sexual abuse.

With the family support system getting destroyed, the child can face social isolation and social stigmatisation. Very often, the child is blamed for being sexually exploited- for “affecting the honour of the family”. The child is made to feel guilty for what happened and a deep sense of worthlessness develops. Often when the abuser is the father or the breadwinner of the family, the child is pressurized by the mother or the family to keep quiet, and is instead blamed or accused of lying. All these are part of denial process. Children may also feel powerless, angry, frightened and lonely. Depression, isolation and self-destructiveness are also some of the short and long term impacts of sexual abuse.

Things to Do when Child is Abused Sexually

1. Believe the child. Children rarely lie about sexual abuse.
2. Commend the child for telling you about the experience.
3. Assure the child that you will protect him or her.
4. Convey your support for the child. A child's greatest fear is that they are at fault and responsible for the incident. Alleviating this self-blame is of paramount importance.
5. Temper your own reaction. Your greatest challenge is not to convey your horror, anger or any hysteria about the abuse. Over reactions make children wish they hadn't told Tell your child that you will work with him/her regarding his/her feelings about the incident. Seek professional help if you feel ill equipped to do this.
6. Do not take any steps against the abuser without first informing your child about them and seeing how he/she feels about them. This will depend on the age of the child involved.
7. Do not begin to impose restrictions on your child as a result of the abuse i.e. not going out anymore etc. These will make the child feel that she/he is being punished for something that was not their fault.
8. Without trivializing your child's experience let him/her know that lots of children are sexually abused and that it is nothing to be ashamed of.

Child Sexual Abuse/Exploitation

Today's children and youth have become very vulnerable to Abuse both physically, sexually. Theionships, building trust children/youth when they grow up suffer from personality problems or psychological problems and face difficulty in building and maintaining relationship.

 

 Child sexual abuse is defined as the physical or mental violation of a child with sexual intent, usually by an older person, who is in some position of power and/or trust vis-à-vis the child.

The term child sexual exploitation covers:

1. The silent, hidden, sexual abuse that the children  (both boys and girls) face at home or outside, usually   in the hands of trusted adults
2. The organised trafficking (buying/selling) of children  into prostitution involving a complicated network of  procurers, brothel keepers, pimps.

Who are the abused?

Any child (any person under 18 years) can be abused. The economic/social/educational background of the child’s family is not a factor that impacts on child abuse.  Both male and female children are sexually abused. Girls however are abused more frequently and over a longer period of time. At least two out of four girls and one out of six boys are victims of sexual abuse.

Who are the abusers?

A child may be abused by his/her father, uncle, grandparents, cousins, older siblings, friends of the family, neighbours, teacher, employer- in fact any trusted adult who has access to the child. Though both men and women can sexually abuse a child, most abusers are male.

Child Sexual Abuse- Warning Signs

1. Children who are too frightened to talk about sexual abuse may exhibit a variety of physical and behavioural signals.
2. Changes in behaviour such as withdrawal,  fearfulness, crying without provocation
3.  Appetite disturbances
4.  Recurrent nightmares, disturbed sleep patterns, fear of the dark
5.  Regression to more infantile behaviour such as  bedwetting, thumb sucking, or excessive crying. 
6. Torn or stained underclothing Vaginal or rectal bleeding, pain, itching, swollen genitals, vaginal discharge, or sexually transmitted diseases. 
7. Unusual interest in or knowledge of sexual matters, expressing affection in ways inappropriate for a child of that age.
8. Fear of a person or an intense dislike at being left   somewhere or with someone 
9. Other behavioural signals such as aggressive or disruptive behaviour, running away, failing in school, or delinquent behaviour.