TIPS TO MANAGE ANGER

Developing the skills to successfully deal with anger takes practice and experience. Important to manage it before you start loosing people, relationships, career opportunities etc.

1. If at all possible, a person should remove herself/himself from the situation that's causing the buildup in anger. Even if it's for a few minutes, a quick "mental break" can de-pressurize things and keep the volcano from erupting.
2. Slowly and thoughtfully repeat a calming command -- such as "Relax," "Everything is going to be okay." The body and mind will eventually respond to firm declarations.
3.  “Silly humor” can help defuse rage
4. Stretch. A person feeling that his anger is reaching critical mass should stretch their body out. Roll the neck and shoulders. Reach for the ceiling. Stretch. It will help relax the body and ease tension.
5. Feel the anger. Pay attention to what your body does when it is angry. Anger is natural justifiable when confronted with frustration, pain, loss and the unpredictable actions of others.
6. Express it in a clear assertive and constructive way. Speak assertively. But don't put on an angry face.
7. Learn to meditate so you can learn to identify your own thoughts and not get carried away by them
8. Recognize tiredness and stress and Focus on the issue, not on the person.
9. Take responsibility for your action.  See your part of the interaction.
10. Take a playful attitude in developing the skill of staying emotionally centered and self-controlled in high conflict situations
11. Adjust Expectations.  Anger is often triggered by a discrepancy between what we expect and what we get.  Learning to adjust those expectations—sometimes upward and other times downward—can help us cope with difficult situations or people or even cope with ourselves.
12.  Forgive, and Forget!  Resentment is a form of anger that does more damage to the holder than the offender.  Making a decision to “let go” (while still protecting ourselves) is often a process of forgiveness—or at least acceptance—and a major step toward anger control.
13. Don't accept angry behavior in yourself. Don't say, "That's just the way I am." Look at it as a personality disorder that needs to be addressed.
14. Don't Judge, but look for solutions or answers.
15. Practice relaxation skills. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper when it may flare up. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as "Take it easy." Other proven ways to ease anger include listening to music, writing in a journal and doing yoga. Exercise, Eat right and Get enough sleep..
     Anger is one letter short of danger. ~Author Unknown

Impact of Anger

Anger and Damage  

• There is nothing more destructive than anger. It destroys our peace and happiness in this life.
• Impels us to engage in negative actions that lead to untold suffering in future lives.
• Whenever we develop anger, our inner peace immediately disappears and even our body becomes tense and uncomfortable.
• Anger is by nature a painful state of mind.
• It causes restless, find it nearly impossible to fall asleep, and whatever sleep one manages to get is not good and it is unrefreshing.
• One cannot enjoy when  angry, and even the food taken seems  unpalatable.
• Anger transforms even a normally attractive person into an ugly red-faced demon.
• One grows more and more miserable, and, no matter how hard one tries one cannot control their emotions.
• Harmful effects of anger are that it robs us of our reason and good sense.
• Wishing to retaliate against those whom we think have harmed us, we expose ourself to great personal danger merely to exact petty revenge.
• To get ones own back for perceived injustices or slights, one is prepared to jeopardize job, relationships, and even the well being of family and children.
• Freedom of choice is lost, driven here and there by an uncontrollable rage. Sometimes this blind rage is even directed at the loved ones and benefactors.

 It is no wonder that an habitually angry person is soon avoided by all who know him. This unfortunate victim of his own temper is the despair of those who formerly loved him, and eventually finds himself abandoned by everyone.

Anger and Relationships

Anger is particularly destructive in relationships. When we live in close contact with someone, our personalities, priorities, interests, and ways of doing things frequently clash. Since we spend so much time together, and since we know the other person’s shortcomings so well, it is very easy for us to become critical and short-tempered with our partner and to blame him or her for making our life uncomfortable.

Why is it important to Deal with Anger in Relationships

In a close relationship, opportunities to get angry arise many times a day, so to prevent the build-up of bad feelings we need to deal with anger as soon as it begins to arise in our mind. We clear away the dishes after every meal rather than waiting until the end of the month, because we do not want to live in a dirty house nor be faced with a huge, unpleasant job. In the same way, we need to make the effort to clear away the mess in our mind as soon as it appears, for if we allow it to accumulate it will become more and more difficult to deal with, and will endanger our relationship

A couple may genuinely love one another, but if they frequently get angry with each other the times when they are happy together will become fewer and further between. Eventually there will come a point when before they have recovered from one row the next has already begun.

 We should remember that every opportunity to develop anger is also an opportunity to develop patience. Unless we make a continuous effort to deal with anger as it arises, our relationship will suffer.

Understanding the Emotion Anger

What is Anger?

1.       Anger is a strong emotion of displeasure caused by some type of grievance that is either real or perceived to be real by a person. Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD

2.       The cognitive behavior theory attributes anger to several factors such as past experiences, behavior learned from others, genetic predispositions, and a lack of problem-solving ability.

3.       To put it more simply, anger is caused by a combination of two factors: an irrational perception of reality ("It has to be done my way") and a low frustration point ("It's my way or no way"). Anger is an internal reaction that is perceived to have a external cause.

4.       Angry people almost always blame their reactions on some person or some event, but rarely do they realize that the reason they are angry is because of their irrational perception of the world. Angry people have a certain perception and expectation of the world that they live in and when that reality does not meet their expectation of it, then they become angry.

5.      It is important to understand that not all anger is unhealthy. Anger is one of our most primitive defense mechanisms that protects and motivates us from being dominated or manipulated by others. It gives us the added strength, courage, and motivation needed to combat injustice done against us or to others that we love.

Characteristic

It is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline. Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion.

Impact

When Anger gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. If it is left uncontrolled and free to take over the mind and body at any time, then anger becomes destructive

How is Anger Identifyed?

1. Anger is a response to feelings of unhappiness, which in turn arise whenever we meet with unpleasant circumstances. Whenever we are prevented from fulfilling our wishes, or forced into a situation we dislike – in short, whenever we have to put up with something we would rather avoid – our uncontrolled mind reacts by immediately feeling unhappy. This uncomfortable feeling can easily turn into anger, and we become even more disturbed than before.
2. Anger is a response to feelings of unhappiness, which in turn arise whenever we meet with unpleasant circumstances.The other main reason we become unhappy and angry is because we are faced with a situation we do not want or like.
3.  Every day we encounter hundreds of situations we do not like, from stubbing our toe or having a disagreement with our partner, to discovering that our house has burnt down or that we have cancer; and our normal reaction to all of these occurrences is to become unhappy and angry.
4. However, try as we might, we cannot prevent unpleasant things happening to us. We cannot promise that for the rest of the day nothing bad will happen to us; we cannot even promise that we shall be alive to see the end of the day.
5. Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.